Bringing up Isha

By -
Recently ,  I , my daughter and Ramam had gone for a walk and my daughter told me in all seriousness, "Amma , Ramam must never get lost". I agreed with her but the reason she gave me, startled me.She said "Amma , he cannot even beg." Hearing it from my 6yr old daughter, I wondered  what an uncanny thing for her to say. I narrated this talk we had  to my husband , in her presence .He added, that she will have to probably have to look after him after our time, she immediately replied, that he will have to fit into her marriage or probably married life is what she meant.
                        So many things that my daughter understands , speaks , recalls  amazes me, then all leaves me with a feeling of sadness , how much my son has lost out in life already. Looking at some old photos , she can recall the dress she had , where the table had been placed in the room . Having a child who is so outspoken, can also have it's heartaches. There was this ad for Johnson baby oil , on TV, the mother giving her baby an oil massage. I was watching the changing emotions on her face. I asked her if she remembers  me doing all this for her, she just clamped up and said, "I don't know if you did all this for me ".I was hurt. For a girl who express her views on anything and everything under the sun she said , "I don't want to talk about it."
                       In all fairness, she also gives me compliments also ," You are already so good , Ma". Even as I type this, I know , Isha is not going to be happy reading this , years down the line.  She will be unhappy I shared this on a public platform. I am coming to  terms with the fact, that she is quite independent, has strong views and has accepted our family the way it is. Some-days , I warn her that  evening, I may get  delayed by 5-10 min in picking her up back from school as Ramam has a therapy . She is ok with it, as long as I have informed  her in the morning. She loves Ramam for sure, plays with him, but she also clear about time that she wants to herself. I am told by other parents that the siblings ,are generally  more mature, intuitive  and independent than their counterparts.All I can do is nod my head in agreement
                       
                              

Comments

Anonymous said…
I"m glad to read about the siblings of autistic children. They do seem to have an innate understanding of the autistic situation and their brother or sister. It amazes me sometimes what she says about her autistic brother although she doesn't really know what autism is yet.
August 5, 2011 at 9:11 AM
Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Random musings

By -
As I keep blog hopping,  I am constantly  amazed at the wisdom, courage and fortitude of parents who have been battling autism, in their own way, and passing on their experiences good and bad.   All of it can be overwhelming. Some of these blogs move you to tears. One such blog that needs mention is http://teenautism.com/ .                                Having handled a child with autism for 10 years, here are some thoughts I would like to share.   For one you can never wish autism away. The complexity and the challenges only keep varying. The mother with a newly diagnosed child may want to know all about potty training, while I am out looking for hobbies that Ramam can pursue.   There are going to be challenges along the way. Secondly, what works for your child be it therapy, or if you are thinking of medication...
Read more

Talking to an autistic child

By -
When talking to an autistic child, these must be kept in mind. Come down to the level of the child as it is easier to maintain eye contact. Speak positively. For example instead of saying do not take my things, say hands quiet or for instance instead of saying do not leave this room, say stay in this room. Be specific in your praise. Instead of saying good boy, be specific and state good listening, good writing, good sitting, good stringing beads. Provide adequate information.   For example, instead of saying we are going bye-bye, state we are going bye-bye to hotel. Give a choice and ensure the choices are readily available. Would you like to listen to music or go on the swing? Label feelings. I am sad because the vase broke. I am happy you are sharing your things with Isha. Meaningless threats such as I will never speak to you, hold no worth. It is vague and cannot be enforced. Instead tell the child what to do such as clear up and go to bed. Be very clear in what you want the child ...
Read more