Thursday, April 9, 2009

Lessons I learnt

The last 10 days have been pretty rough on all 4 of us as I have been in and out of hospital, this beside the fact we are trying to relocate to Bangalore. There were a series of test that had to be performed on me to rule out some complications, one of the tests being the bone marrow biopsy. It is quite a painful procedure .Suddenly, I broke down in the middle of it, leaving the doctor worried and wondering if he should continue the procedure. In between all my crying, sniffing and blowing my nose, I told him the outcome of the procedure bothered me more, than the procedure itself. I realized my life is very valuable to me for my son’s sake than for my own. He was not independent in anyway, should something sinister turn up in the results, and I wondered what would happen to both my kids. There was a child with pneumonia, around 11 years in the same ward. His mother was also allowed to stay with him. Every night he would hug her and go to sleep. It made me think, that there would be so many emotions, and thoughts that Ramam would also be having, but has no way of expressing it. Every time he would come to visit me he would make a big fuss of going back, he would lie down in my bed and hug me. But the most important lesson I took back home after my hospital visit was that it is extremely important to make our children self sufficient in that at least he goes about his daily routine on his own. At the end of it all it is about survival, and he should be able to cope on his own without the one-one attention he still needs.

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